I used to have this habit of faking a break up whenever my boyfriend goes lukewarm with his affection. Like every time he starts acting up and misbehaving, I usually go, “I am tired of this relationship. We are done”. I say all these hoping he will drop all the acts and concentrate on treating me right.
It took me quite some time to realize that doing all that shows immaturity. I mean, how could I possibly get my misbehaving boyfriend act right if all I do is break up with him? I break up with him hoping he will miss me then come crawling back to me. Not only does it look amateurish, it equally makes you lose yourself respect.
The rule that, “we never know the value of what we have until we lose it”, may not apply at all times to relationships. If there is one thing about emotions, it is that, they are very complex and matters of the heart shouldn’t be toiled with as we like.
When you notice that your man is getting lukewarm with his affections, the best thing to do is to talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel, how you expect more from him because you deserve better. You can’t just throw “Breakup” at his face and expect him to change. Talking to him about his inadequacies in the relationship is the best strategy.
But then, before you make all these demands, be sure you have been consistent in making it clear to your partner the kind of love you are asking for.
If after complaining and he still doesn’t take the correction and you know you can’t take his shits any longer, then you can then decide to break up with him. As a lady who knows what she wants and how she expects to be treated, breaking up with a man who doesn’t want to get his shit together should be final and should be done with a firm mind. Not the kind of breakup that will only last for a week or so and then you are back in the arms again because you can’t live without him.
Breakups should be done because you are ready to live without your partner and not because you hope that they will realize their mistakes, and then apologize. Personally I think breakups should be used as a weapon for guiding your heart and not as a threat.
If all you do is break up with your man each time his attention dwindles and you want him to take notice of you and give you the right attention, yourself respect reduces and he becomes used to it that whenever you throw any breakup line to his face, he will just shrug it off. In his mind, after all the huff and puff, you will still come back. He stops taking you serious and I don’t think any girl would want that.